Sometimes I Wish I Had Had an Abortion.
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Body Positivity, Activism and Race in the Middle of a Pandemic; a Conversation with @amapoundcake
A wonderful interview from one of our newest writers on how the Black woman’s body is a political space.
Danni, better known by her instagram handle @amapoundcake, is a force for social change in a world that seeks to undermine and snuff out any shred of confidence and activism that comes from fat black women. In this moment, she and other women like her are coming to the forefront of a movement they began.
When I first sat down to talk with Danni, I wanted to know how she got started in the body positive activist space. Unlike many fat kids, Danni was never shamed for her body - in fact she was encouraged to love it. She saw fat black people all around her; remarking:
“ ... most of my family was either skinny and got fat or were fat when I met them.”
Growing up in a household that didn’t partake in the same causal body shaming that many of our own did, empowered by the words of Mo’nique, Danni began her first social movement - ‘Eat or Die’. She and some other big girls from her middle school took it upon themselves to walk around in matching t-shirts and talk about what it means to be fat.
All this positivity in her upbringing didn’t shelter her from the ‘real’ world, the one that wished her white and skinny. She was barred from many activities because she couldn’t fit the mold others made for her. But she stood out all the same, when the dance team rejected her she found herself on the step team. For her, a lot of life was about carving out a space for herself with people who could truly appreciate her. In highschool that meant joining the step team, nowadays it looks like building a network of support around herself.
In her undergrad experience she was heavily involved in black activism. She posted about being fat on many platforms, but it wasn’t at the centre of her work. This was around the time she began to notice that fat black women just weren’t a part of the narrative of black and intersectional feminism.
Today, the world is radically different from the one we were all born into. Activism has changed, branding has changed, politics have changed - but this new wave of social justice has left behind thousands of women who look just like Danni. We see more and more black women occupying spaces they never had access to before, but the posterwomen for anti blackness still sit on the outskirts.
This is something Danni understood at a young age, saying:
“I understood fatness and blackness at the same time.”
These two things that were so central to her appearance were simultaneously at the centre of much controversy and socio political discourse. She noted that she wasn’t originally set out to be a body positivity icon, or an influencer of any kind. But her push to make all of this was when Plies made a music video that included not a single thick woman.
After claiming in a video that he loved big women and was so supremely attracted to them, in his latest music video at the time Plies failed to include even one of these women. She did what she could, she started a fight in the comments. And hundreds of women just like her rallied against the video. He listened. Plies put out a request calling on all the women who were angry to send him a video dancing to his song by the end of the day. And Danni did, for a long time she was the only one but just when she thought to take it down; there she was featured on Plies’ instagram. Soon after other women joined her, posting their own videos, dancing and being carefree and happy. It goes to show:
“You don’t need a following, you just need a voice.”
And for so long, there was no one who wanted to hear the voices of influencers and women like amapoundcake. Fat black women were at the centre of black humiliation and degradation for centuries. The mammy stereotype kept all black people down, sure, but since then we have failed to distance ourselves from an image of fat black women that isn’t centered on being caring and nurturing. Both on television and in real life big black girls are nothing more than side characters; a shoulder to cry on, a place to dump your feelings and move on, a two dimensional figure in the background of someone else’s life. We don’t get love interests or sex scenes. We don’t get to be in the skin care commercial or the music video. Amidst all of this underrepresentation, it is nearly impossible to come to terms with yourself.
It was in the middle of discerning all of this that Danni knew that she had to just get up and do it. Make representation where there was none. So she started taking her platform more seriously, speaking out about the intersections of race, class and fatness. She forced herself into the narrative when so many forces sought to erase her. Some black people don’t like her because she is fat, some white people don’t like her because she is black, capitalism hates her because she can own these two things unapologetically.
On her instagram page you will find that Danni is fiercely anti capitalist, anti racist and overall anti hate. She positions herself as a representative of the marginalised and she walks the talk too. She consistently speaks up on what it means to live in a world that refuses to accept you as you are. Moreover, she is creating a space where conventional, skinny, white and palatable feminism is not upheld.
She talks about everything, from hard hitting critiques of capitalism and the state of modern activism to desirability and sex. I got the chance to pick her brain about it all. Especially right now in this time where the coronavirus pandemic has us all stuck to our screens, all eyes are on this revolution.
It has been a time of recognition and amplification for many spaces. One thing that many have been realising is how inextricably linked fatphobia is to race and anti blackness. As Danni put it:
“Fatphobia is a direct attack on black women.”
In turn, by virtue of living in a capitalist system, we have turned hate into an individual issue, and then we market it and make it lucrative for forces at play behind it all. Danni cited just some of the many subtle ways our society seeks to punish and belittle fat people. “The doctor tells you need to lose weight, they sell you the pills, they make you pay for the consultation but they ignore your real problem - your flu, your broken foot. Airlines make it more expensive to fly, it is impossible to find comfortable seats in public spaces. Life insurance policies are next to impossible to find, and when you can find them they are expensive.” The unspoken tax on fatness. All this to punish the individual, but we never attempt to condemn major organizations for their role in manufacturing the obesity epidemic.
To make it that much worse, all the strong black women that have taken the time to create out their own spaces and their own representation have been muted within their own community. Many white women are realizing that where they originally came to share they have stolen and co-opted. Danni pinpointed the use of the term “Phenomenal woman” a phrase originally thought of by a black woman [Maya Angelou] for other black women, in a time where it wasn’t okay or trendy for us to love our bodies. There is the unnerving sensation that much like other parts of black culture, our activism is also slipping away from us too.
So, what does all of this mean, what does it all look like in the middle of a global pandemic? Well, in short, everyone needs the love and confidence that radiates off of the women in these spaces. Danni, outside of instagram, works as a body image coach and in these difficult times has seen her customer base expand. In the midst of all of this distress many people are gaining weight and losing it, moreover, they are losing their confidence. While we have to remain fiercely in support of the marginalised, insecurity is a universal experience.
People are sad, routines have changed, lives have been uprooted so how do we navigate all of that? I think Danni put it best, saying:
“We can be in this world alone or with others, with a support system even if it’s virtual.”
It's all about building a system of like minded people that help you achieve your next goal whether it's that next big step in your career, or starting a new relationship. It’s supremely important to feel supported in these endeavours. Many of us didn’t get a childhood that supported us in the way we so deeply desired, but we deserve to create an adulthood that does. That is what activism, body positivity and life really is about - taking that next step, fighting against the system and loving yourself with the people who love you.
Something we can all stand to learn from Danni, her following, and the myriad of black women just like her is that in these strange times we need to recenter ourselves. Question your values and your position on the issues that matter, readjust where necessary. Reaffirm your activism, reaffirm your goals, reaffirm yourself.
Hayley is an emerging writer and journalist who works hard to create work that is fiercely feminist, anti racist and anti oppression on a whole. You can check out more of her work and content on her instagram @hayley.headley
A Semi-Comprehensive Guide on Catching Up with BLM.
A long list of things to educate yourself on, donate to, or familiarize yourself with as the BLM movement grows.
These protests feel different, the anger feels more consuming, the righteous indignation more radical and long-lasting. There are a lot of people who are joining BLM who've never marched or protested before. Even my mother, who watches Fox News most nights, has come around and was marching in the protests in Seattle last weekend, and I've got a lot of friends who've been tentatively asking each other, how do I get involved, and is it too late?
I don't think it's too late. We need to have accountability for why we weren't there from the beginning, and carefully examine the ways in which our privilege has allowed us to opt out from Black Lives Matter, or from any other type of activism. Fundamentally, privilege gives us the choice to avoid the things that make us feel uncomfortable, when other people cannot. We need to examine the reasons behind our previous lack of participation. We need to also examine the ways in which we are participating now, to make sure that we are doing it in thoughtful ways that amplify black voices instead of obscuring them. We need to make sure that we are not virtue signaling or only engaging with the movement for the optics. And we need to make sure that our previous lack of participation doesn't keep us from joining in now.
I've been retweeting a lot, and saving a lot of things that I've seen in the media posted by black people, and in particular queer or female black voices because what we don't need right now is white people colonizing the movement. At the same time, please please please don't take precious time and energy away from the black people in your life by asking them to educate you. We have the means to educate ourselves, through finding resources such as these. I will be updating this as I can, and I've done my best to organize things into categories. I understand that everyone learns through different mediums so I've tried to include as many as possible.
Please let me know if there is a resource you would like added, voices you want amplified, and more.
How to Be a Good Ally:
I found this article by writer/artist Mediphis to be incredibly useful. It's an eloquent takedown of the belief that black people are responsible for soothing white guilt and doing away with the notion that signing a couple of petitions or watching The Help (decidedly not helpful to BLM) on netflix is enough to be a good ally. This is a efficient dismantling of the belief that we are doing well by joining now, because frankly our privilege has shielded us from joining before, and we have profited emotionally, socially, and politically from our purposeful ignorance.
Here are some other points summarized from Marie Beecham, an activist and environmentalist who wrote an amazing post on how to ally:
Don't talk to black people about your white guilt. They don't need your sob story.
Check yourself. You are a part of the system and resist the urge to try and be an authority in a movement that was never supposed to be about you.
Talk about racism with other people. Those friends who've been quiet the issue? Have those uncomfortable conversations. Force them to reckon with it.
Don't ask black people to educate you. Google exists. Use it.
Act with urgency. There is no such thing as asking for social justice to wait for a better time.
Call out and reject white privilege you experience or witness. Dismantling the system means also giving up your privilege.
Don't compare racism to your own struggles. As nice as it feels to think you're being empathetic, you cannot empathize with the experience of systematic racism.
Don't be a white savior. You don't get a gold medal for being anti-racist.
Honor the feelings of black people. If they are angry, they are allowed to be. If they are sad, they are allowed to be. Don't colonize or try to control the narrative of what they're experiencing.
Some extra steps focused on non-optical allyship brilliantly written by Mireille C. Harper:
Avoid sharing traumatic content. People can seek that out if they want to find it. By posting it willy nilly, you may traumatize black friends and dehumanize black violence... not helpful.
Stop supporting organizations that support hate. This obviously goes without saying, but please dear god stop supporting chick-fil-a, Starbucks, Dollskill, and any number of organizations that haven't been supporting the movement. Find a more comprehensive list here.
Start working on your long-term plan. How are you going to keep the momentum going?
People to Follow:
This is a long list of people (mainly black women because as I said before in a previous post I think they’re the backbone of the earth) I've long loved or recently discovered, some of which are huge accounts and some much smaller. They all offer unique and beautiful information and literature to keep the conversation going, and every single one is immeasurably wise.
Instagram:
Rynnstarr, an educator and Youtuber.
Chris Facey, Tony Mobley, and Lyte Visuals, photographers who’ve been doing amazing work documenting BLM protests.
Jahkara Smith, a Youtuber whose humorous takes on social issues are both biting and enlightening.
Norah, Yarah and Rosa, three sisters whose dancing is inspiring and healing.
GLITS which helps support members of the LGBTQIA community living in this modern world.
Victoria Alexander who is doing some incredible research in creating anti-racist education tools.
Tembe Denton-Hurst is a beauty and culture writer who is both incredibly humorous but also honest and challenging.
The Vocalized is a black/brown femme collective seeking to amplify voices of Black & Indigenous people, WOC, & non-binary-trans-queer folk.
Daylite is a poet and singer from the bay area whose activism is funnel through an incredible sense of creativity.
Black Visions Collective seeks to create safe spaces in which to amplify black voices.
Patrick Onyekwere is an artist who works with blue pens to make absolutely STUNNING portraits.
If you want to see gorgeous black women and their gardens, this is such a wonderfully healing instagram.
Shea Diamond is a singer songwriter whose music is what we need in this moment.
Babirye Leilah Burns is a sculptor and artist whose work is gorgeous and awe-inspiring.
The Black Iris Project helps support black dancers/ballerinas.
George Johnson is a YA writer whose work is nuanced and heartfelt.
Blair Imani is a queer black muslim author and modern historian.
Ethel’s Club is a social and wellness club focused on POC.
Gunna Goes Global is a rapper and activist from the bay area who does incredibly biting social commentaries.
Twitter:
Dr. Sami Schalk, a researcher on race, disability and gender. She’s sarcastic, hilarious, and incredibly thought-provoking.
Benjamin Dixon, podcaster and political analyst who offers seething perspectives on the political systems that are shaping our current crises.
Jackson Bbz, a Black trans man who offers incredible perspectives on intersections of race and sexuality.
Rachel E. Cargle is a writer, lecturer, and public academic. Her feed is both healing and provocative.
Ebony Janice is a hip hop womanist and founder of blackgirlmixtape.
Bree Newsome Bass is a artist and lecturer on race and society. I love her feed for being enlightening and beautifully written.
Wagatwe Wanjuki is an anti-rape activist and writer on abuse and trauma.
Books to Read:
From Tembe Denton-Hurst, an incredible writer for NY Magazine and The Strategist, this was one of the most comprehensive lists I’ve seen so far. For an added step, please order your books from bookstores such as Marcus Books in Oakland, which is the oldest black-owned bookstore in America, or at the very least through your local bookstore (if you follow the links they will take you to indiebound.com, which will help you find the independent bookseller nearest you that stocks it!)
Classic Non-Fiction
All About Love by bell hooks
Women, Race, & Class by Angela Y. Davis
This Bridge Called My Back by Rosario Morales
The Invention of Women: Making an African Sense of Western Gender Discourses by Oyèrónkẹ́ Oyěwùmí
When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost: A Hip Hop Feminist Breaks it Down by Joan Morgan
Playing in the Dark by Toni Morrison
Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde
The Black Woman, an Anthology by Toni Cade Bambara
Eloquent Rage by Brittany Cooper
Contemporary Non-Fiction
Spill: Scenes of Black Feminist Fugitivity by Alexis Pauline Gumbs
THICK and Other Essays by Tressie McMillan Cottom
Scandalize my Name: Black Feminist Practice and the Making of Black Social Life by Terrion L. Williamson
They Were Her Property: White Women as Slave Owners in the American South by Stephanie E. Jones-Rogers
Unapologetic: A Black, Queer, and Feminist Mandate for Radical Movements by Charlene Carruthers
Black. Queer. Southern. Woman.: an Oral History by E. Patrick Johnson
Race After Technology: Abolitionist Tools for the New Jim Code by Ruha Benjamin
Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love, and So Much More by Janet Mock
Colonize This! Young Women of Color on Today’s Feminism by Ed. Daisy Hernandez and Bushra
Black on Both Sides: A Racial History of Trans Identity: by C. Riley Snorton
Reproductive Justice: Racism, Pregnancy, and Premature Birth by Dána-Ain Davis
Medical Apartheid by Harriet A. Washington
The Yellow House by Sarah M. Broom
How we Get Free by Keeanga Yamahtta-Taylor
Classic Fiction:
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Sula by Toni Morrison
Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler
Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
The Women of Brewster Place by Gloria Naylor
The Salt Eaters by Toni Cade Bambara
for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow was enuf by Ntozake Shange
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Zami: A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde
Contemporary Fiction:
Patsy by Nicole Dennis-Benn
An American Marriage by Tayari Jones
Push by Sapphire
Heads of the Colored People by Nafissa Thompson-Spires
Friday Black by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah
Training School for Negro Girls by Camille Acker
Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi
The Mothers by Brit Bennett
I also really love these suggestions from Victoria Alexander and Hannah Chia which includes books from Black men as well as several about being an ally as an Asian POC.
Stamped from the Beginning by Ibram X. Kendi
White Fragility by Robin Diangelo
A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn
So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo
The Burning House by Anders Walker
The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander
The Condemnation of Blackness by Khalil Gibran Muhammad
Dying of Whiteness by Jonathan M. Metzl
A Different Mirror by Ronald Takaki and Rebecca Stefoff
How to be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi
The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson
The Autobiography of Malcolm X as told to Alex Haley
Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates
Killing Rage by bell hooks
Becoming by Michelle Obama
In Search of Our Mothers Gardens by Alice Walker
Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay
Aint I a Woman by bell hooks
The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi
Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams
The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates
Native Son by Richard Wright
This Bridge Called My Back edited by Cherrie Moraga and Gloria Anzaldua
Colored Cosmopolitanism by Nico Slate
Movies/Shows to Watch:
Please dear god do not watch Green Book or The Help and think that you’ve done a good job. Here’s a brief list of amazing films and shows to watch to help confront our implicit bias and structural internalized racism. Rachel Harvey suggested a lot of these on her blog, and others were provided by __
Podcasts to Listen To:
I love podcasts as I’m sure many of my fellow readers do. This list was compiled by a couple different posts I saw, and are hosted by Black people or POC.
Places to Donate:
In a capitalist society we know that our bodies, our time, our energy, and our emotional capacity has all been measured by measures of productivity, and therefore, money. Our greatest revolutions and uprisings as a species have been most effective when we have either taken away or stopped the means of producing capital, or when we have opted out of unfair systems of capital by means of strike or boycott. If we want to enact change, it is most effective when we hit them where it hurts, their wallets. Please, if you are able, support the moment by donating to any of the below organizations, but also do one better and look for the smaller local organizations in your area and donate to them. Systematic change starts with your immediate surroundings. How are we helping our Black neighbors or members of our community?
To support the families of victims
• Community Support for Robert Fuller
• Rayshard Brooks Memorial Fund
• Dominique “Rem’mie” Fells Funeral Costs
• James Scurlock Memorial Fund
Bail Funds
• National Bail Fund Network COVID-19 Emergency Response Fund
• Louisville Community Bail Fund
• Nashville Community Bail Fund
• Dallas Bail Fund for Protesters
• (F)empower Community Bond Fund
• People’s Program Bail Out Fund; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
• Columbus Freedom Fund; Columbus, Ohio
Youth-Oriented Community Organizations
• GirlTrek
• Colin Kaepernick Know Your Rights Camp
• HOPE Crew: Hands-On Preservation Experience
Policy/Voting Reform Organizations
• American Civil Liberties Union
• Black Lives Matter Global Network
• Color of Change Education Fund
• Moms Demand Action; donations will be matched dollar for dollar by Everytown, Moms Demand Action’s parent organization
• Take Action Chapel Hill; Chapel Hill, North Carolina
• Austin Justice Coalition; Austin, Texas
• Dallas Alliance Against Racial and Political Repression; Dallas, Texas
• The Refugee Dream Center; Rhode Island
• Alliance to Mobilize Our Resistance; Rhode Island
• Fair Fight; National, but mainly Georgia
• The Collective Political Action Committee
Black LGBTQ Organizations
• The Heavenly Angel Fund Project
• Black Trans Advocacy Coalition COVID-19 Community Response Grant
• The Nina Pop and Tony McDade Mental Health Recovery Fund
• Homeless Black Trans Women Fund; Atlanta, Georgia
• Black Trans Travel Fund; New York City
• Emergency Release Fund; New York City
• F2L Relief Fund; New York State
• For The Gworls Party; donations are collected through Venmo, PayPal, and Cash App
Support Black and Queer Sex Workers
Participate:
Read, Listen, Engage and Donate. When there are calls to action by the leaders of the movement (national and in your community) follow through. Take care of yourself through inevitable burnout with these helpful steps below, and continually remind yourself that this is a daily practice, and not just a fad. Until the system has fundamentally changed/been replaced, there will be no such thing as change.
I will be posting more stuff soon on how to get involved at the local level for your city hall, districts, or more. That work, the boring meetings and town halls, is essential as well. We’ve posted previously on how to participate safely in Black Lives Matter protests and marches, especially keeping in mind rising counts of COVID infections, but the long-term work that needs to be done will be a crucial slog. Be aware of what are the current needs of your community, look on Facebook, on Next Door, on Twitter and on Instagram. Follow the leaders of local BLM movements on their social media so you are aware of needs as they arise. This work will require a lot of time spent thoughtfully planning and actively participating in our political system, so begin to familiarize yourself as well with your local officials, their stances on BLM, and what more we can be doing to help them move in the right direction.
Finally Things to Reflect On:
I loved these prompts by Jezz Chung, who has created a calling out of raising collective consciousness. If anything please spend some time reflecting on these questions:
In what ways does my proximity to whiteness afford me privileges that aren’t extended to Black and Brown people?
In what ways have I been conditioned to believe in the superiority of whiteness?
In what ways have I engaged in rhetoric that promotes othering or stereotyping of Black people?
What can I do to better educate myself on the historical context of race in the country and community that I exist in?
Edit August 2022: We’re adding this helpful article on annuity.org about financial literacy for the black community… Part of empowering a disempowered group is making sure they have financial independence and success.
This is a long read but honestly, it's the least you can do. Please follow the links to the social media accounts of everyone I posted about and subscribe to their content. This isn't a movement that only lasts a moment, it doesn't go away just because it's not trending on instagram.
In This Moment, Communion is a Radical Act
A quick word on communion and female love as we move through this time together.
“There can be no love without justice.”
I will be working on a post soon so that people can have access to petitions to sign, as well as books to read, shows/movies to watch etc, and which places still need donations. I am going to try and amplify what I've already seen written so that people can have access to it and do some self-education. Right now, it's more important to listen to what black people are asking us to do, and do our own work on how to dismantle the systematic racism in our own lives, and then do the work on what our role as allies is going to be in dismantling the system itself.
One book that I read not too long ago keeps jumping out to me as something that hits particularly close to home in the context of everything that is happening right now. Communion, by Bell Hooks, is an incredible book for learning the importance of love and feminine connection in times such as these.
With all the marches I've been on, I've been struck by how the majority of the activism and grassroots work is being led by women, and some still high school students. I'm amazed at the energy, bravery, and tenacity they have to stand up for their community, and take on the mantle of responsibility. I have seen how their organizing efforts have centered on love and community, and of creating cadres of accountability and sisterhood. Under the mantle of patriarchy, love has always been seen as women's work, as the responsibility of the feminine to safeguard and nurture emotions and connections. That love was always seen as secondary in terms of value to the more emphasized 'logic' and 'reasoning' abilities of men, and thus have been ignored or belittled. And yet in this time of crisis we see that love pouring out. We see it through the mothers who are mourning for their sons over and over again, taken too soon, or in George Floyd’s final words calling out for his own mother, or in the words of his daughter, when she exclaimed that her daddy changed the world. We see it in the way that communities have gathered around female leaders who've been able to clearly articulate how care and compassion are the foundations to the fight to abolish racism and end police brutality. We see it in the women who've stepped up to bring medical supplies, water, and snacks to protests, to the nurses who are going to protests to take care of the injured and wash tear gas out of people's eyes.
If women are the ones who are taught to be experts on love, it is no wonder they are leading the revolution. It is no wonder that many are writing the literature we are consuming on a day to day basis on twitter or instagram, whether it is Layla F Saad, or even Block Thread Queen, a digital sex worker who is fighting racism within the adult industry by calling out the perpetrators and bringing them up on bad behavior while also uplifting and encouraging people to financially donate to black female sex workers who are struggling. I'm seeing black women on twitter and instagram holding live checking-in sessions, in which they hold safe spaces for people to find respite if their struggling, or to find communion if they're feeling alone in the spaces. While Hooks wrote in her book "there can be no love without justice," I think the exact opposite is true as well. Without love, how do we know what is fair and what is not? It is only with a deep and profound caring that we can center goodness and kindness and love as the central pillars in our fight against fascism and systematic violence.
This fight we are fighting, it is bearable because when we fight, we see the love, the strength, and the joy it creates. Everything becomes bearable with love. The fight becomes sustainable with love. And it is the black women who are bringing it. They are healing their communities with love while they are fighting for Black Lives Matter. It is important that we respect that community. That as white people, we do not try to infiltrate the intimate spaces that were not created for us, while sharing and amplifying the spaces that were. To respect the love that has been carefully tended and fostered, and to amplify and echo it.
I keep coming back to this book, to the idea that women are given this idea that we are inherently better at love while simultaneously told that love and feelings are 'silly' and we ran with it. We created powerful systems and communities to sustain our families, and more broadly, our societies. While many of us are at a loss as to how we can contribute, take a step back and see that these systems we are trying to tear down are built on the assumption that love trumps power. But in uncertain times such as these, we see the opposite is true. While people expected mobs and rioting as the coronavirus sank its fangs in, what we saw was a lot of cooperation, generosity, and kindness. We saw people mobilizing to help the needy in their community, and to take extra precautions to try and protect the most vulnerable. So too during the BLM protests. When unemployment is at a record-breaking high in this country, countless numbers people have found ways to donate millions to support grieving families, grassroots organizations, bail funds, and mutual aid funds. People have risked getting coronavirus because it was more important to protect and protest for black lives to matter. There is love here, and the love is strong.
Many of us are new to activism, and many of us are unsure of how to go about it. However we've been trained our whole lives for this moment. We've been taught to love and to cherish and foster that communion. As this movement stretches from it's beginning decades ago into a new era of redoubled energy and passion, we can create sustainability by fostering community around it, and by giving it love.
Like I said above, I'll be posting more links about ways to help, but I also invite you to post your own, or ways that you are supporting your communities through this. I'll leave this off then with one of my favorite quotes from Bell Hooks (really should be reading her if you haven't already).
“Women who choose love must be wise, daring, and courageous. All around us the culture of lovelessness mocks our quest for love. Wisdom is needed if we would restore love to its rightful place as a heroic journey, arduous, difficult-more vital to human survival and development on planet earth than going off to slay mythical dragons, to ravage and conquer others with war or all other forms of violence that are like war. Wisdom is needed if we are to demand that our culture acknowledge the journey to love as a grand, magical, life-transforming, thrilling risky adventure.”
A Guide to BLM Protesting & Donating
A brief guide on places to donate, and if you are marching, how to do it as safely and effectively as possible.
In San Francisco, it’s midnight but the air is alive with the sound of helicopters flying overhead, and sirens racing down the street.
I participated in a peaceful protest earlier today that started at town hall, went down the Embarcadero and then blocked several of the on ramps to the Bay Bridge. The police presence was heavy, with every officer in full riot gear and several armored cars at the ready, but protestors marched with their hands up, and when they stopped to gather, people would take a knee to show that they were there to make a stand and to say their piece, but they weren’t there to incite violence.
It was a beautiful moment, and now in Union Square and along Market street there’s shop windows breaking and arrests being made. In Oakland yesterday someone tried to run over protesters with their car, and several others were arrested for setting a store on fire. This is nothing compared to the rest of the country that seems to be burning up. In Atlanta the national guard has been marching down streets and shooting tear gas canisters at people who are standing on their porches, and in Salt Lake City a man got out of his car and starting shooting a bow and arrow at people, because he was trying to come to the defense of the police. In New York there’s video footage of a squad car revving its engine and plowing into people, and Minneapolis, well, there is so much horrific, surreal content coming out of there it’s hard to know where to start.
I wanted to make a quick guide, pulled from many different sources, of ways that you can help participate at whatever level. As Toni Morrison once said, “if you are free, you need to free someone else.” The privilege of being white has been one that has been taken for granted in this country, with willful disregard of the continual violence that must occur to maintain this imbalance. It is shameful that we have ignored the problem for this long, and we cannot rest until we end systematic police brutality, violent and deadly racism, and state-ordained/excused murder.
If you are anything like me, you were raised to never raise your voice, and to never dissent. I always made excuses for why I didn’t show up for things, even if I believed in them. I didn’t want to stir the pot, I didn’t want to get in trouble, I didn’t want to get arrested. And that fear made me a coward, and made me turn a blind eye to the uncomfortable truths that were in my face every day. I was afraid of doing it wrong, of being accused of being fake or self-serving on one side, or too radical on the other. I was afraid to have convictions, and I see now that it was the laziness and fear of losing my privilege, as well as the systematic patriarchal oppression of marginalized groups (in my case, as a woman) that kept me from standing up for those who needed our support to fight oppression.
Mental Health Resources:
Places to Donate:
• The Bail Project, a nonprofit that aims to mitigate incarceration rates through bail reform.
• Black Visions Collective, a black, trans, and queer-led social justice organization and legal fund based in Minneapolis-St. Paul.
• The Minnesota Freedom Fund, which pays criminal and immigration bail and bond for people who cannot afford it.
• The Brooklyn Bail Fund, which helps pay bail for those who cannot afford it.
• The NAACP Legal Defense Fund, which supports racial justice through advocacy, litigation, and education.
• Communities United Against Police Brutality, which operates a crisis hotline where people can report abuse; offers legal, medical, and psychological resource referrals; and engages in political action against police brutality.
• Northstar Health Collective, a St. Paul–based organization that provides health services and support at protests.
• The ACLU, which provides legal services and support for a broad range of people with civil rights complaints.
• The Bay Area Anti-Repression Committee Fund, which helps pay bail and legal fees for those who have been jailed at protests. Please check your city for your own local fund to donate to.
Getting Ready for a Protest/March:
-Wear black head-to-toe. The more uniform everyone looks the harder it is for the state to identify who did what (no face no case).
-Masks up (you can do this with a black t-shirt, google Piqueteros). This is for COVID but also to blend in.
-Tie hair back, and don’t wear jewelry or clothing that could be easily grabbed at.
-Comfortable footwear for being on your feet potentially for an entire day.
-Wear another color under your black in case you need to strip it off to blend into the general population.
-Bring extra PPE to assist everyone in preventing the spread of Covid-19.
-Do not wear contacts if you can help it/wear eye protection such as goggles.
-Bring lots of water (extra in case other people need it/to rinse chemical irritants out of eyes), snacks, and a first aid kit if possible.
-Pad your dominant forearm to absorb baton blows (it may save you a broken arm).
-If you can, try to not bring your phone (sometimes these can be tracked by police to see who attended a protest) or wallet. Write the numbers down for several emergency contacts directly onto your body or onto your clothes, in more than one place. Just bring ID, and some cash.
-If you are bringing a phone, make sure you have FaceID turned off, and put it on airplane mode.
-Alert someone who is not going to the protest about your timeline; give them critical info such as your emergency contacts, medication needs, DOB etc in case you need help during the protest.
Protest/March Etiquette:
-It's everyone's job to assist medics in collecting supplies and lending a hand when called on during an emergency. They are oftentimes easily identified by red tape crosses or patches on their arms or on their backpacks. Try to identify them during the protest so you know who/where they are in case they are needed.
-Call for a medic with both arms crossed over your head and shout "Medic!!”
-In the event chemical irritants are deployed, eyes are washed with water. The chemicals are oily, treat them like you would poison ivy.
-When medics offer a snack or water, take it (you need it).
-If someone goes down, shield them with your body as they are vulnerable to attack/trampling.
-Keep the cameras off injured peoples (short spray paint cans are good for taking care of camera lenses that refuse to move).
-Watch what you broadcast and post, everyone is watching and you don't know what or how it will be used, maybe against you or others.
-Stay mobile, avoid being cornered/ kettled/ flanked. Cops will yell loudly/ concussion grenades are fucking loud. Their noise is meant to rattle and disorient you.
-Tear gas canisters will burn a naked hand. They should be returned with at least a 100% cotton gloved hand to the cops that shot them/ covered with something like a traffic cone.
-Never turn your back to an attacker, do not run. Use your eyes to constantly scan the crowd.
-Remain hyper-vigilant at all times.
-Leave no one behind.
In Case of Arrest:
-If you are arrested, invoke your right to remain silent by saying “I am exercising my right to remain silent. I want to speak with a court-appointed lawyer.”
-Do not tell cops anything else, not even what you had for breakfast (everybody walks when nobody talks).
-Legal teams are often standing by to provide support and assistance. Try to find the number of a legal team in your area doing so, and write their number on your body in permanent marker.
-In the event trans/non-binary comrades are arrested or detained, cis people MUST go to jail with them. If you have to cross the police line or sit in the middle of the street to get this done, do it. Never let trans/non-binary comrades go to jail alone.
-This also applies to white people when POC are arrested. We protect the most marginalized in our ranks.
Afterwards:
-After the protest, check in with medics. Medics are notoriously bad at self-care during crises and deal with major trauma and compassion fatigue. Show them care and emotional support.
-Be sure to check in with organizers about actionable plans afterwards, sign up for facebook groups or newsletters, or follow leaders on social media so that you can stay up-to-date.
-Check in with yourself and your community. Be vocal about your experiences, especially the positive ones. Focus on the message of the protests and don’t get sucked into the weeds of conspiracy theorists or trolls.
-If you’re experiencing symptoms of PTSD due to protest-related trauma, many mental health professionals are providing free care for those who are struggling emotionally.
Reap what you hoe.
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