Learning to Rethink Your Value
Everyone is scrambling to find meaning in the midst of this pandemic, throwing themselves into new hobbies, discovering making sourdough, etc. While these are all wonderful experiences, I think in these times of economic degradation we need to find value in new things. Unemployment all over the world is skyrocketing and that is placing radically new strains on families everywhere. Now, more than ever our understanding of our value and time is rooted in economic gain and output.
One thing I have been trying to learn especially getting back into school is to redefine my value. We live under a capitalist system and the few times we get to subvert the system are small but invaluable forms of resistance. Being still, loving yourself, - these are all unspoken forms of activism.
Capitalism demands that we spend every second of every day creating, producing, and working. But the world is constantly changing, we can’t always be working - especially now. For months we were all stuck at home, and instead of finding peace within ourselves, we sought out work. The one question that should be on our minds is do we truly enjoy work or do we think it’s the one thing that gives us value? Especially as lockdown restrictions are slowly being lifted (for better or worse), and many of us are getting the chance to get back to our old lives.
How are you valuing yourself, your time, and your mental space?
Let’s talk about you first. Beyond thinking your the hottest thing to walk the earth since its formation, do you appreciate your body? Even the parts you don’t love? Be honest - think about it.
Here is the thing, regardless of how much you love your body or how you see it, it is valuable. Even when you are just being still, your body is still working so that you get to live. That is a function you can’t deny. It keeps you breathing, makes sure oxygen gets where it needs it to go, and it does all of that without asking anything extra of you.
Whether or not you love every bit of yourself, appreciating it, feeling happy with it is activism. Body positivity has been co-opted by influencer culture but it was built on a platform of accessibility and disruption. If you have a body that you actively appreciate then, you are already disrupting a system that preys on your self-hatred.
You don’t need to post about it or even be loud about it. The key to it is to truly appreciate all that your body does and to help it function. Eat healthily (but we will settle for just eating), drink water, and be satisfied.
As you go back into “normal” life, redefine what body positivity is for you.
Now, we come to the question of time. The saying “time is money” is probably as old as capitalism itself, but we are failing to get to the heart of that. Yes, time spent relaxing could be time spent working, but the sole reason for living is not working.
It doesn’t matter if it is a job you love, work is hard, and it will wear you out. Take time for you and only you. Not for your friends, not for your family, take some time away from any social obligation and just vibe.
Stop demanding production out of relaxation. You don’t need to do a face mask or have a wash day to be caring for yourself. Be still.
Take that time you spend being still to repair your mental space. Personally, trying to find a balance between work and school is exhausting. Not just physically, but mentally.
Something I have been trying to learn; is to not turn every other thought into a new article or research paper topic. It got so bad that it felt as though all my thoughts had to be productive or useful. But when you start to think like that, your other thoughts lose their intrinsic value.
We have to divorce ourselves from this system that consistently asks us to produce more and more content.
This is all about protecting yourself, your time, and your mental space.
Art by Keelin Montzingo
How do we put that into practice?
You have to be willing to challenge yourself. Here are some things that have been working for me over the past week:
Do nothing!
This week I challenge you to do nothing productive for a whole day. The real challenge is not thinking about being productive. When I say do nothing, I mean truly free yourself from any sense of obligation. Don’t think about work, don’t do work, don’t even look at anything to do with work.
Close your tabs, don’t open moodle (or any other site related to school/work), try to truly forget that you live a life filled with tasks and duties.
2. Feel great about yourself!
Look in the mirror, take any time you might have spent critiquing yourself, and be positive. Sometimes, I find myself thinking these subtly negative thoughts. My inner voice says:
”Oh, that part of me is great, kind of makes up for this other thing I hate”.
“Hmmm, that part of me looks worse today than it did before” or,
“Ehh, at least I look cute in photos so it doesn’t matter if I don’t look as good in real life”
That kind of thinking is harmful.
If you think like this you have a new challenge this week. Now, when you find yourself looking into the mirror, smile, and think of something you are grateful for and happy about. Hype yourself up!
3. Know your own worth.
I mean this in every way but especially, know the value of your time. Don’t waste it on people you don’t enjoy being around or people who don’t respect you.
Trust, it isn’t worth it.
When you start understanding your value and respecting yourself, you will know when others don’t. Once you recognize that they don’t respect you in any meaningful way, you can stop taking sh*t from people.
This week, only make time for things (and people) you value and people who value you.
Take these small things into account as you go through the next week. Use them to redefine how you value yourself, your work, and your time.
Hayley is an emerging writer and journalist who works hard to create work that is fiercely feminist, anti racist and anti oppression on a whole. You can check out more of her work and content on her instagram @hayley.headley
Keelin Montzingo studied Communications at the University of Massachusetts and Modern and Contemporary Art at Christies. In 2017 she returned to painting propelled by her insight in art history and commercial markets which gave a contradictory and fascinating perspective of her subject matter. Recent exhibitions include ‘Creatures’ at Olsen Gruin, 2019 and ‘Shifting Skins’ at Leonard Tourne, 2018. Her upcoming solo exhibition ‘Cosmic Latte Nostalgia’ will open in London in 2021.