A Note About Texas

Sometimes when I write for this blog, I feel like I'm just another noise in an already massive echo chamber. I get discouraged, I feel invisible. I think to myself, 'maybe it's okay to be invisible, maybe you shouldn't have a voice in this.'

I've been writing since I was ten, and as a junior I started a magazine at my high school called The Voice. But I've always been shy about my writing; my poems are all small, crammed into tiny spaces as if someone was going to come and take up the rest of the page. My first chapbook was called Shy Knees. I rarely share my writing with other people, I rarely reach out to publications to ask them if I can write for them. I rarely even post on this blog. Some of it stems from fear. I don't want people to think I'm a bad writer. I don't want to read the mean and cruel comments that can sometimes follow the bottom of a post. I don't want to talk about myself. As a white-presenting middle-class woman living in San Francisco, I'm sometimes the last person in the world who needs to have an opinion on something. It's better for me to step aside and let other people have the floor.

I think, too, it's hard to tell when writing has impact. I've always loved to-do lists and I still have a bucket list I wrote over ten years ago that includes the missive "change someone's life." I wonder if I've ever done that with my writing. I wonder if anyone has ever read something I've put to paper and walked away feeling different, or feeling anything at all. Internally, I wonder if my writing has any impact on me. I've journaled nearly every day for the past three years, all of it introspective and self-analyzing, and I still feel like I miss the forest for the tiny trees; that I've made the biggest mistakes of my life in just the past week, and that while I wrote about being stressed at work or fights with my partner, my journal rarely touches on my sexual assault or my brother's incarceration, two of the most traumatic things that happened to me last year. I wrote about petty fights with my boyfriend, using words to store my bitterness in instead of using them as tools to break apart my outer hardness to find my vulnerability and gentleness inside.

I feel angry with myself. I feel like I've wasted time, or not been productive. I hate that I use the word 'productive' as much as I do. I take stress naps and wake up exhausted, and I check my bank balances every day because I have an anxiety that what I have will be taken from me at any moment. I feel shame, and I don't know for what.

I think this is all called exhaustion. I think this is all called being stressed and overwhelmed and not dealing with grief and taking too much on and ignoring the important things and losing the essential things and turning into the worst part of your parents and then fearing you're not turning into anything worthwhile at all. I want to be more quiet. I want to stare out the window more, I want to read on my couch for hours without worrying that I'm missing something. I want to put my phone in a box and put that box into the closet for the weekend. I feel guilty for not doing any of those things, and no pleasure in the things I am doing.

This is a long intro. This was supposed to be a post about how Texas is shitty and how, since The Voice, I've written about abortion access and rights. I wanted to write about how planned parenthood saved my life twice, by giving me information about my pregnancy that was fair and good and put me forward instead of the conservative agenda my dad put forward, that saw me as a sin and not a person. They saved me too, by giving me access to birth control I couldn't afford. I wanted to write something about all the different ways writing hasn't gotten us any closer to convincing people that maybe women shouldn't have to carry fetuses to term if they don't want to, that they exist as more than just reproductive machines.

But I just feel tired. So I'm keeping this space small, and safe. I am posting below some abortion funds that people can donate to if they feel so inclined, to help people access abortion care if it is no longer safe for them to do so where they live. And I want to hold space for the people who are exhausted and discouraged. It is okay to be like this. It is okay to want to stare at the wall for a little while. Let others take up the mantle when you no longer have the strength to do so. We will be coming back.

Abortion Funds:

• Texas Abortion Funds

• Fund Texas Choice

• Texas Equal Access Fund

• Women’s Reproductive Rights Assistance Project

• National Network of Abortion Funds

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The Whorticulturalist is the mother of this magazine. She is a sex-positive blogger and creative who enjoys rock climbing, dancing, and camping. In her spare time, she’s probably flirting.

The Susan B. Anthony List: Lies and Misinformation

 On Sunday, September 6, 2020, my local paper, the Scranton Times, ran a full-page advertisement paid for by the Susan B. Anthony List. The Susan B. Anthony (SBA) List is a non-profit whose goal is to end abortion in the United States. The name of the organization is supposed to be a tribute to the suffragist movement. The leaders of the SBA List contend that Susan B. Anthony was pro-life, a proclamation that has been disputed by the National Susan B. Anthony Museum and House, who argues Susan B. Anthony never spent any time discussing her stance on abortion. I offer little weight to the emotional connection the SBA List is trying to tie between the anti-abortion groups to the women’s movement; instead, focusing on the issue with the SBA List's misinformation is spreading.

In the advertisement, the question below was posed to readers, and they had three statements to choose from:

“Which is your view?

1. Abortion is TRAGIC but sometimes necessary

2. Abortion is INHUMANE, unacceptable, and wrong.

3. Abortion is ACCEPTABLE at any time.

The SBA List accentuates their beliefs by capitalizing the words “tragic” and “inhumane” to drive the pro-life viewpoints on abortion. Then they use “acceptable” to underscore the supposed pro-choice or Democratic beliefs. The ad elaborates that choice A and B align with 70% of all political affiliations based on the 2020 Marist Poll.

The first inaccuracy in the ad proclaims that, according to the democratics.org/where-we stand/party-platform, the Democratic Party Platform aligns 100% with choice C, Abortion is Acceptable at any time, 

I searched the Where We Stand Platform for the claim that Democrats categorically support option C, Abortion is acceptable at any time. The official democratic platform states, “Democrats are committed to protecting and advancing reproductive health, rights, and justice. We believe unequivocally, like the majority of Americans, that every woman should be able to access high-quality reproductive health care services, including safe and legal abortion” they go on to state, “Democrats oppose and will fight to overturn federal and state laws that create barriers to reproductive health and rights. We will repeal the Hyde Amendment and protect and codify the right to reproductive freedom. We condemn acts of violence, harassment, and intimidation of reproductive health providers, patients, and staff. We will address the discrimination and barriers that inhibit meaningful access to reproductive health care services, including those based on gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, race, income, disability, geography, and other factors. Democrats oppose restrictions on medication abortion care that are inconsistent with the most recent medical and scientific evidence and that do not protect public health.” 

The Democratic Party Platform doesn’t say that Democrats support abortion at any time during pregnancy.  According to a poll on NPR, only 31% of Democrats agree that abortion should be legal at any time in a pregnancy with no restrictions.

The SBA List cannibalized the words of the democratic platform to spread inaccuracies. They make it seem like women are deciding to have an abortion at thirty-six weeks, and the Democrats are like, “Well, go on, we get it you changed your mind.” That’s not reality.

One of the most significant issues I have with the advertisement is that it forces people into two distinct categories: Democratic or Republican. Impelling people into a label doesn’t allow them to think on a spectrum regarding their abortion stance. In her book, Scarlet A: The Ethics, Law, and Politics of Ordinary Abortion, bioethicist Katie Watson discussed the moral value to an embryo and how someone assigns value is critical in deciding where you stand on abortion. To simplify, what rights you attribute to an embryo, and when you believe those rights pertain to a fetus are critical to determining your abortion stance. People need to give thought to moral value, and when they believe life begins, conception, implantation, viability are considerations. Many people probably fall somewhere on the gamut of abortion is Not Acceptable in any circumstance to its Always Acceptable. Pigeon-holing, all Republicans as never supporting a woman’s right to choose, is naïve. Conversely, suggesting that all Democrats are pro-abortion is not correct. According to the Gallup poll in 2019, 21% of Republicans self-identify as pro-choice, and 29% of Democrats report they are pro-life. 

The SBA List goes on to espouse the Democratic platforms supports abortion in the following scenarios:

“Abortion permitted until birth;

A baby born alive after attempted abortion can be left to die;

Taxpayers must fund late-term abortion, even against their conscience.”

Let’s look at the claim that Democrats support abortion until birth.  The Reproductive Health Act of New York doesn’t allow abortion up until the moment of birth. When abortions are performed after 24 weeks, it’s because the mother’s life is in danger or the fetus isn’t viable. The claim doesn’t consider that a doctor must determine that woman’s life is at risk or any fetal conditions that are incompatible with life. Someone can’t walk into a clinic at 39 weeks and request an abortion and expect it will be done no questions asked; that’s what the SBLA wants you to think. According to the Guttmacher Institute, only 1.3% of all abortions are conducted after 21 weeks. In most cases, a woman is faced with the decision to abort when she has learned new information later in her pregnancy that shows severe fetal anomaly or a risk to the mother’s health. The Republicans and Trump propagated misinformation that abortion is an option until birth in response to the NY Reproductive Health Law that allowed practitioners to perform abortions after 24 weeks in fetal anomaly cases and if the mother’s life was in danger.

  Next, let’s dive into the claims that a baby born alive after attempted abortion can be left to die. The accusation of aborted babies being left to die is not valid. President Trump claimed in a tweet, “The Democrat position on abortion is now so extreme that they don’t mind executing babies AFTER birth,” stoking the fears that infants born after an attempted abortion wouldn’t have care. He doubled down on the older tweet recently when he tweeted about voting in Virginia when he claimed the Governor is “in favor of executing babies after birth-this is late-term abortion.” I don’t think he understands what he is talking about or doesn’t care since he is grasping for the pro-life vote.  The claim that babies are executed after birth is wholly unnecessary since the “Born-Alive Infants Protection Act” passed Congress in 2002, reaffirming that infanticide is illegal. In the small instances, when an abortion results in a live birth, it is because of a fetal condition, and the infant would be given comfort care in line with parental wishes and the care team recommendations. The claim that babies born alive after an attempted abortion are ludicrous and pandering to the pro-life contingent.

Finally, the last claim that taxpayers must fund late-term abortion isn’t entirely valid, even against their conscience. The Hyde Amendment bars the use of federal funds for abortions, except in case of rape, incest, or life endangerment.  However, states can provide funds to pay for medically necessary abortions. Currently, fifteen states have more strict restrictions and don’t comply with the Hyde Amendment to provide Medicaid funding for abortions in rape and incest cases.  Some Democrats have said they will repeal the Hyde Amendment ending the ban on federal funds used for abortions. The Hyde Amendment prohibits poor women dependent upon Medicaid from getting abortions and furthers economic and healthcare disparities. 

The SBA List is excellent at spreading fear, and I wonder if the pro-life sect realizes that the SBA List considers the emergency contraception pill abortion? If you visit www.sbalist.org, you can link to www.lifeissues.org  and search under abortifacients; their stance is clear. Let’s take the scenario that a woman was raped on a Saturday and went to the emergency room. As part of her care, the doctors offered her emergency contraception to prevent pregnancy. If she chose to take the pill, the most stringent pro-lifers deemed this an abortion since the pill prevented implantation of a fertilized egg, which they claimed can happen within thirty minutes of sperm entering a woman’s body. I used the extreme example of rape instead of birth control failure or other consensual encounters. The rebuttal to those examples by pro-lifers is usually something along the lines of people consenting to have sex know the risks. But emergency contraception should be available regardless of the scenario. Other Pro-life organizations like Focus on the Family explicitly denounced any birth control method that interferes with implantation, such as an IUD and some birth control pills. 

If the SBA List wants to spread false information, I hope people on both sides of the aisle are smart enough to do the research and think about where they fall on the spectrum of abortion access. 

  The death of Ruth Bader Ginsburg proved we must have a Superior Court judge that will uphold Roe V. Wade and a woman’s right to reproductive freedom. Those who support a woman’s right to choose must call out the half-truths and blatant lies spread by pro-life groups, such as the SBA List. The pro-life supporters are entitled to their opinion, and although I disagree with them, I ask that they educate themselves in facts, not fiction. There are studies, polls, and research articles that refute the lies that the SBA is spreading. If you are anti-abortion because of your religious beliefs or moral code, that is your right, but you have a responsibility to educate yourself. I challenge you to remove yourself from the cocoon of it’s never going to happen to me or someone I love; it’s a cozy place to stay until reality hits.

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Maura Maros has a master’s degree in Human Resources Administration from the University of Scranton and Creative Writing from Wilkes University. In 2018 she completed her Master’s in Fine Arts at Wilkes University. Maura’s short story, Hidden Gem (February 2016), and her book review of The Self-Care Solution (June 2016) were published in Mother’s Always Write. Her short story, The Warrior, was published in the anthology I AM STRENGTH. Maura’s poem A Mothers Guide to Getting By is in the summer edition of the American Writers Review 2019. In November of 2019, Maura’s short story Calling Mum…Home was published on Mum Life Stories. Most recently, her poem Bloom was part of a collection of isolation poems and short stories on The Dew Drop.