Sometimes I Wish I Had Had an Abortion.

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Playing House by Emma Yahr

Image from tumblr user ladybabyfairy

He’s the daddy.

Boy’s boy with a briefcase.

I visit him every day at work, imaginary

casserole dish resting in the dip

of my feminine hip.

It’s 1952 with iPhones

and craft coffee and don’t

we make a handsome couple?

He’s God

and I’m Tour Guide Barbie! Leading

every conversation back to him:

his long day, his stressful meeting,

his big dick. I’m smart,

but still fuckable. Prude

in public, slut in his sheets,

mirroring the mothers before me.

I’ve learned how to stare up at him

through my eyelashes and moan.

He’s learned to expect dinner, pretend

like he isn’t obsessed with me. But he is?

Isn’t he? You are? Obsessed with me, aren’t you?

His lips, infinitely more gentle

than his hands, remind me

that this is a non-speaking role.

I never did learn how to keep my legs open

and my mouth shut.


Emma Yahr is a recent alumna of North Central College, graduating in May of 2021 with her Bachelor of Arts in English Studies. Most recently, her chapbook, "Healing: An Index" was long listed for the 2020 Button Poetry Chapbook Contest. Her work has been featured on Poets.org, the 30 North Literary Review, as well as on various post-it notes and napkin corners scattered across the greater Chicago area. Emma is a poet, storyteller, and freelance writer living in the suburbs and figuring it all out.

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