I was one of those people who had Emily Ratajkowski's book on pre-order. I read it from start to finish in two days, and got in a fight with my boyfriend about it, upset that he didn't understand and couldn't sympathize with the body politics that Emily talked about in her book; and with which I, as a former sex worker, identified so strongly.

The way bodies have been commodified, sexualized, objectified, all the -fied's really, by our culture in ways that have removed us from our enjoyment and ownership of our own bodies; making us gaslight and doubt our own pain, discomfort, experiences, and on the other end of the spectrum, our own pleasure, desires, and wellness journeys, is astonishing and has been around for as long as we've lived in 'civilized' societies that have somehow only deemed society to function when there is a pecking order that puts straight white men at the top. This domination of women has been an intrinsic part of our understanding of culture, but for the last hundred years a pushback against that culture has also been a part of that conversation; from getting the vote to talking more freely about pleasure, the liberation of women from reproductive responsibility, and in the past decade or so, the destigmatization of sex work.

I love that Ratajowski feels comfortable exploring these themes, and in particular the relationship between modeling and sex work; how people have treated her as a sexual object or as someone to whom sexual access should be a given. I also love that she's taken to interviewing people on her podcast who have had close ties with the industry, the most recent of which is Chloe Cherry, a former porn star who recently starred in the last season of Euphoria. In this episode, Cherry spoke candidly about her experiences in the industry, and how she would want every young woman to choose it over a job in the service industry because porn has much more safety measures in place versus other less regulated industries. More precisely; she talked about how she would much rather young women have the opportunity to work in the sex industry rather than waitressing because the working conditions and pay were much better, and the environments safer. While many lauded EmRata and Cherry for the candid conversation on the many ways that sex work can be empowering for women, many others were swift to condemn the interview, most notably Mia Khalifa, who posted a TikTok video in response in which she expressed her outrage at the lack of consideration concerning the potential harms and dangers of the sex work industry.

It's opened up a debate that I think sex work has had to consider for a very long time; how do we start a conversation about the pros of sex work while also acknowledging the harms and dangers of the industry? At its root, sex work is an industry made up of primarily women, trans folks, people with disabilities, and members of other minority groups for which sex work is one of the few available avenues for liveable wages, flexible hours, and professional autonomy, all of which are quite unique to the industry and make it a haven for those who struggle to work in other areas. However, because many parts of it are unregulated and criminalized, it also means that sex workers’ abilities to protect themselves from harm are often very limited, and sex workers are known to underreport instances of assault, robbery, rape, and more because of fears of being arrested. While waitressing is a job that is widely criticized for its sexism, the pressure to flirt with customers for tips, and more, it shows an alarming lack of awareness to say that sex work is much safer than waitressing, especially if you’re saying that to young people.

There is also an issue of privilege. Chloe Cherry is an incredibly popular porn star, and has a huge social media following. Celebrity affords you accountability, and very few people have that sort of clout in an industry that is often secretive and anonymous. In addition, the privilege of being blonde, thin and white is one that not everyone in the sex work industry has. This of course doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t have an opinion, but it should mean that she should be more self-aware of her advantages in the industry, much in the same way that Emily Ratajkowski should be aware of how her privilege gives her the platform to voice opinions and experiences that could help, or harm the very people she’s trying to destigmatize.

It’s irritating to be held to a different standard. Porn and sex work at large is often required to include caveats and warnings about assault and violence when workers talk about how they enjoy their work, or think it’s a better fit than other industries. It’s unfair that sex workers need to include a warning label when they talk about how empowering their work is. But it seems right now that we are in the fulcrum swing that glamorizes sex work (easy money, sexual attention) without also talking about just how much work it can be. This is obviously just the start to a longer conversation about sex work, and I’m glad that Chloe Cherry started it on Ratajkowski’s podcast. But I’m also looking forward to hearing other experiences about sex work from less conventional and/or famous sex workers, from disabled camgirls or escorts who aren’t white. It would be great to hear from curvy girls or masc folks, fetish performers or dungeon masters/dommes. It was great to read My Body, but I would love to hear about other bodies too.